Holy Moly! Suddenly, I have a Date!

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Long and strange post here… Last couple of days, things have been sort of chaotic. But I don’t really wanna get into that. It seems there has been too much darkness in my life, for too long. So I don’t want that to spill into this post. This is a sunny and happy post. For once! I still have to process/express that darkness though… I may pour it into a poem perhaps, later on.

Onto the topic of this post. Yes, I have a date! Now, the way this came to pass, is much too complicated to explain in great detail. And in explaining, I would have to touch too much upon the previously mentioned darkness. Suffice it to say, that I met this person, this man, a couple of days ago, in a completely random bar, where I had entered only for a few minutes on my way elsewhere. I was in a state of despair, due to other things happening. Nevermind that now, now I’ll talk about the meeting.

I was sitting at a table, trying to collect my thoughts, when suddenly this man sat down across from me. He seemed to be around my age, give or take a few years. He had a sympathetic face, in fact, a very friendly face. And I could really use a friendly face, right about that time. But, you know how it is, when you feel a bunch of tragic feelings. You’re not really “open” to friendly people. It’s like there’s a glass wall between you and them, somehow. Anyway, this stranger hit really hard on that glass wall, which made cracks in it. I decided to have a conversation with him, what harm could it really do?

So, I learned that he works within the field of psychiatric care, he’s like an assistant nurse or something like that. (“Nurturing” profession, that can’t be bad, right?) He’s also not from around here. That is, not from the Big City, but originally from a Small Town. (And perhaps you now know my weakness for Small Town Men? πŸ˜‰ ) That’s a good thing indeed! Cause you see, here in the Big City, it’s really hard to connect with people/men. It’s a pretty harsh, superficial and “casual” scene, when it comes to dating in a Big City. I believe this is not just here, but could be relevant in other Big Cities around the world aswell… But I digress.

The strangest thing about meeting this man, was that he seemed absolutely smitten with me(!) Now, after the narcissistic relationship, I don’t really have that much self-confidence, so this was most unexpected and had me wondering about his motives… But it “seemed” genuine. Since he was so interested, and had a kind face, I even forgave him for using the phrase: What is a lovely girl like you, doing in a place like this?Β I actually thought it was kind of funny, the way he said it.

I liked his name. His first name was good, strong, solid. And his last name was sort of poetic. Now, I know this is a very strange thing to say, but I always notice guys’ last names. Cause after all, you never know if you’ll some day have that name as your own! Of course it’s a detail that doesn’t really matter, but, it’s no disadvantage if the person you meet has a lovely name now, is it? And this man does, anyway.

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He gave me his number. He said he would love to go out with me. Since he’s a man (prejudice coming up), he asked if I wanted to go home with him. I’ll forgive him for that one, too. Almost all men try that one, to get you to go home with them as soon as possible. So I don’t hold that against him. I just laughed it off and politely declined. He said he understood and didn’t seem annoyed at all.

So today, I gathered what little courage I have left, and sent him a text. Now, you all know how passive I’ve been on the dating site, right? I believe that is because I’ve had such a hard time facing the possible rejection, if reaching out to men. This must stem from the 4 years with a narcissist, which felt like one long and complete rejection of my heart and soul… I guess the reason why I dared to text this man, was because he had shown such clear interest already. I think this is how I have to meet someone. In reality. I’m no good on dating sites. My charm (if I have some), doesn’t shine through there…

I was still a bit nervous. What if he wouldn’t reply? Then I told myself, if he doesn’t reply, so what. I’ve got nothing to lose, at this point. I’ve been wanting to date someone new for so long, and nothing has been happening. I have to try, at least. If he doesn’t reply, I’ll just move on.

After about an hour, my phone rang. It was him!Β He said he was with friends in his car, coming home from a short road trip. We talked about setting up a date. I had suggested a day for next weekend. He said he was scheduled to work then, but that he would try to take the day off, to be able to spend it with me. He asked what I would like to do and I said that we could just do the “classic thing”, dinner and a movie. He said that sounded great and he would love that. He also managed to show his eagerness, by sneaking in: “You wouldn’t want to just… go for a coffee, later today?” I said I was busy with a lot of stuff, and that I’d rather have a proper, long date, to be able to talk and really get to know one another. He said he understood, and he thought that sounded terrific.

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From our conversation, I learned a few things, all really good, for me. 1) He does not use lazy communicationΒ (commonly used by narcissists and other emotionally unavailable people). Ie, he called instead of texting, and it didn’t take him like eight, or more hours, to reply. He got back to me within the hour, and I really appreciate that. (No game playing here, it seems!) 2) Also, he doesn’t hide his interest at all. He’s even willing to take a day off from work, to see me? It’s like: Wow! I haven’t heard of anyone doing that, ever? Is this guy for real? Anyway, that made me really happy, and gave me a warm feeling inside.

So, I don’t know where any of this will lead. But apparently, I have a date next weekend! With someone who seems sweet, and who is clearly interested in me. Isn’t it funny how life turns on a dime, sometimes?Β 

Love/Survived πŸ’–

 

60 thoughts on “Holy Moly! Suddenly, I have a Date!

    1. I know, it seems totally crazy! Ha ha, something will probably go wrong (doesn’t it always..) Nah, I won’t be negative now, until something “actually” goes wrong… lol. I will try to be positive and see it as something potentially good… and thanks for the well wishes.. as for details, I forgot to mention one detail which I can tell you here; I really liked his voice on the phone, it sounded positive, warm and friendly…. πŸ™‚ could be a good sign. I will be sure to let you in on all the juicy details, if there should be any.. hee hee πŸ˜‰ πŸ’œ

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      1. Me neither! Now this week will be a bit nervous, to wait fornthe date, but nervous in a good way… I will try to pep talk myself… lol. I feel I am still so conditioned to expecting the worst/expecting things to go wrong.. I will try to get out of that mindset… I have to try to stay positive, otherwise it won’t be a very good date at all, I guess.. lol. But I will still have my “antenna” up and look out for any red flags of course. .. thanks for reminding me of body language, that is indeed important for clues about dishonesty.. hugs πŸ˜ŠπŸ’œ

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      2. I always found that if I was DREADING something or was nervous about it….I usually had a great time for some reason. If if was looking forward to something, it was a bust. Go figure. It’s good to be nervous but I do so hope you have a good time. I’ll be dating vicariously through you next week-end!

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      3. Well, then I should have a great time, cause right now I am DREADING it as much as swimming with sharks! Lol. 😊 Yes, I am glad you will be dating vicariously through me, I have done that many times with other people’s blogs. And it is fun to see the developments, both good and bad… we will see if it turns into a bad comedy, a tv soap opera, or a romance novel. Lol.. 😊

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      4. Who decides who is mentally healthy enough? When I think about ex narc running amok on those dating sites and ruining so many innocent peoples’ hearts and lives, I feel sick… If the narcs are out dating, then we can certainly do it, too. We do not have to share with a new date about all the things we went through. If they are interested they will get to know our broken parts in time, and they will love us for it… but I get your point, it is good to feel stable enough to be able to handle a rejection and other uncomfortable situations, in some sort of healthy way… I have been unsure about my own situation, if I should really date even if I am not a hundred per cent healed… but now I am thinking, screw that. I do not want to waste more years waiting around. I want to have some fun! Lol… 😊 I think I could handle kissing a few more frogs… I feel “the worst” has already been done to me, sort of.. there is a strength in that… I feel stronger now…

        I hope you do get to reach a healed enough state to say “what the hell, I’ll give it a go”. You deserve that. Hugs! πŸ’œ

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      5. I may just do that but I would be scared to death. My judgment wasn’t too good with Loser and he was a highly educated, brilliant man. The time my cousin signed me up for one, I had every Tom, Dick and Harry responding. Problem was, apparently they couldn’t read. They were NOTHING like the men I described as what she described that I was looking for. I posted a picture of me standing against a tree and almost every response was “I sure wish I was that tree.” THAT just turned my stomach.

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      6. I understand that fear. I also have it, and am thinking; what if I just attract someone else who will use/abuse me, emotionally… but, I think that it “should” be the opposite, we should be able to spot the predators more easily, now.. maybe not instantly, but soon enough, before we get entangled too deeply with them. That is ny hope anyway. 😊

        Yes, there are a lot of “sleazy” guys out there. But there must be a few good men left out there… again, that is my hope, anyway.

        My mother used to say something a while back, to cheer me up when I was at my lowest point, something which I thought was rather sweet. She said: I bet somewhere out there is a man just like you; feeling lonely and perhaps heartbroken, and wishing you were there with him, although he doesn’t know it’s you, cause he just hasn’t met you, YET.” So I pass that sentence along to you, my friend… there must be good men for both of us out there. I believe that! Hugs. πŸ˜ŠπŸ’œ

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    1. Hey frozenjanedoe!! You are so right… there is always some reason to keep hoping, keep moving forward… good things can happen. Thank you for the well wishing.😊 I have been wondering where you were, haven’t seen any posts from you lately. I hope you do post a little, would be nice to see what is going on in your life. I hope you are well, despite circumstances. Hugs. πŸ’œ

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    1. Thanks! Yes, I am glad for that too! I would rather not rush things. So this feels like a good way to do it. Perhaps nothing comes of it, we will see. But then, at least it gave me some hope.. 😊 I know, dating sites… right? Not for the faint of heart… it is really hard to get to know someone there… thanks for your kind words! xo 🌸 🌼 🌸

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  1. Yes a poem please ❀️ this is wonder, Miss S…..I am so excited for you. Yes, it is good to look for signs and still remain open to possibility. Perhaps it was destiny for you to be there, when he was there and to meet as such. It is romantic the thought 😊
    Wonderful and happy post, indeed.

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    1. Haha, that is such a sweet comment, about the poem..😊
      Thanks, I’m excited too. But we will see what comes of it. Perhaps nothing.. lol. Well even if it becomes nothing, it is still good that this happened, it gave me some sort of hope… that there can be someone else out there who is interested in me (other than the narcissist)..

      I do not know about destiny, but who knows? If this should against all odds develop into some sort of love story, I would certainly be inclined to agree with you on that! 😁 Thanks for your kind words, friend! I will update about the date.. 😊 πŸ’œ

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      1. Thanks for the support. I hope to be able to write a bit of fun/romantic/ or “juicy” stuff ( As Laurel calls it, I find that word so funny.😁 ) You are very kind Karaa, I appreciate that. Have a great Sunday! Xo

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      2. Yes juicy, the spicy stuff, yes all good to write about. Everyhting helps you and then helps others . Having fun is important to us all. Life seems so mundane and routine at times.

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      3. I am magnet for them it seems, or any abusers in general. At least I am armed with the signs to such types now…I am happy to be own my own though. I have my dad and my daughter and there ad a few men who have always liked me, but I was not attracted to them, we were just friends. I would not wish to ruin those wonderful relationships as they genuinely show me kindness with no hidden agendas.

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      4. I do not think you have to be a magnet for them… it is all about boundaries, I guess. We can decide here right now, both you and me: “If anyone treats us like shit ever again, we just leave. We just walk out. We do not accept it. One warning, that is all they get. Do it again – you are out!”. I plan to be a LOT tougher in my next relationship, anyway.. πŸ˜‰

        I am glad you have had male friends who were decent! That is good! πŸ™‚ Makes you not lose hope in men, I guess… πŸ™‚ Hugs

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      5. Yes and my dad and brother in law and family male friends…and some past boyfriends have been wonderful…..yes , we should make a pact, no more shit…..hugs xx

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      1. Thank you miss Evelyn, those are very kind words, which brighten up my day for sure! πŸ™‚ Right back at you, I have learned a lot from reading your thoughts aswell. And missed your posts a lot, when they didn’t show up for some time.. πŸ™‚ πŸ’œπŸ’“πŸ’™πŸ’

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    1. Thanks! That would be nice… πŸ™‚ But if he is not the love of my life, I still hope to just have a good time. πŸ™‚ I agree, this was completely spontaneous and at a point when I least of all expected something like that.. very odd. I will keep you posted, whether it is good or bad… πŸ˜‰

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  2. Yay!!! This sounds exciting! Im so happy for you to have this positive experience so far. 😊 Even if things don’t work out, it’s still a good experience that shows you that there are people genuinely interested in you and willing to do what it takes to get to know you. You deserve all the good and sweet experiences in the world, beautiful friend. πŸ’™πŸ’™

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    1. Thank you! Yes it is pretty exciting. At least different. It will be a sort of nervous waiting leading up to the date. Haven’t had a proper date in ages. Lol. Yes I agree, even if nothing comes of it, it is sure nice to see that someone was really interested in me. I had sort of forgotten what that feels like… πŸ˜‰ Thanks for your encouragement, dear friend! πŸ’–πŸ’•πŸ’ž

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    1. Yay indeed! Haha, thanks!! πŸ™‚ I know, completely out of the blue kind of thing… unexpected.. oh well we will see what happens. I do not take it too seriously, it is just fun that someone seemed so interested in me, and hopefully I can have a good time at least… πŸ™‚ Thanks!

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      1. Those are the best πŸ™‚
        Sometimes forcing it too much doesn’t end good or yield any results. *fingers crossed*
        No need to take it serious. It’s a date, not a marriage πŸ˜‰ Have fun. Laugh. Get to know him. Let the time roll by and see how it goes. No rush, no pressure. Either way, it’s a win πŸ™‚ Even if it goes bad (hopefully not) you accomplished to move forward! πŸ˜‰

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  3. I think you nailed it with a few points here. 1- He called back fairly quickly instead of playing games. 2- He isn’r afraid to express his interest wins plenty of points. 3- I also like that he texted instead of calling. There he gets bonus points. So far, so good. Good luck.

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  4. I’m suspicious. A) propositioning you to go home with him upon meeting? Were you at a bar? Had you been flirting back? You casually cast it off as “he’s a guy…” but really? B) the whole day off thing might be a total scam. I don’t buy it–or him. Sorry. And… I hope I’m wrong.

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    1. Hey skyxander! 😊 I lost the address to your new blog… is it on WordPress still? I hope so.. I must have a look at your page again. I have noticed no more posts in WP reader from you.. and missed them😊

      I understand your suspicion!! I have/had it, too.. but, the story continues.. 😊

      Believe me, I share your skepticism: when something seems too good to be true, it usually is!! And now, I have had one more long conversation with him and things continue to feel great.. so something has to be wrong.. (lol).. will write a post about that, too long to explain here. Thanks for sharing your view, I need someone to keep my realistic side awake, cause who knows, what this guy really is about… hmm.

      Thanks for being there as the voice of reason.. I will need it, as I feel I am in danger of possibly getting feelings for this person. Hugs! πŸ˜ŠπŸ’œ

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